


Rain of Sorrow

by lxcuxex



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Fluff, Hallucinations, M/M, Memory Loss, Polyamory, Secrets, Time Travel, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29466654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lxcuxex/pseuds/lxcuxex
Summary: || DISCLOSURE ||I’m not shipping them in real life, these are their SMP personas.——————————-It happened again.The room felt like it was spinning, his head foggy as he started at the walls around him. So many books, posters, he almost didn’t recognize his own writing as he read a page.What was this place?
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 106





	Rain of Sorrow

It happened again. 

The room felt like it was spinning, his head foggy as he started at the walls around him. So many books, posters, he almost didn’t recognize his own writing as he read a page. 

What was this place? 

Karl frowned, a dull ache in his head as he steadied himself with one hand against the wall. Why was he just in this room? He could barely recall coming here. 

But his body recalled how to get out. He moved without much thought, only yearning for some fresh air to help him sort out this fog over his brain. He clambered up a ladder, pushing open the trapdoor and found himself in a library? 

There were shelves filled with books, collecting dust no doubt as he took in his surroundings. Why was he in a room under a library? He took a few more steps, until he urged himself further, stumbling out of the library and into the sunlight. 

It almost felt too bright, eyes squinting, as he took in a few deep breaths. It felt good to have fresh air in his lungs, how long had he been out of it? 

At least these surroundings were somewhat familiar. But at the same time something twisted in his chest. This...This wasn’t home…

As he attempted to focus more, it became apparent this wasn’t where he lived. Just beyond he saw the crater of what was once L’manberg and the distant remains of party island. This wasn’t home...it didn’t feel like home anymore. 

He spun around to stare at the building he had come out of. A simple hobble that had been built into the landscape, dark oak wood used to outline the small building. Why was he- 

There was something pushing him again, he reeled forward, pushing open the door and stepping into the room once more. 

Except this time it was different. The room looked like it was rotting from the inside out. The walls crumbling, the wood floor coated in a thick layer of dust and the shelves broken and empty. Hadn’t this...Hadn’t this just been filled with books? 

His eyes darted to the trap door that lay open, he stumbled over to it, clambering down the ladder but he found another empty room. There was nothing. There were no posters, no books, no dairies. There were simply more broken shelves and an open empty chest. 

This whole area seemed untouched, forgotten. It had been abandoned long ago, so why was he here? Why wasn’t he home? Where was home…? 

Where was home…?

Karl’s own eyes seem to widen in shock as he failed to recall. Where were his things? Where did he sleep? Why couldn’t he remember? Why had he woken up in this abandoning building which made his heart twist in the worst way? 

He needed to get out. So once more he found himself clambering up the ladder and flying out the door to safety. He wanted to go home. 

But around him was simply the past. The rotting building, the crater of a once there nation. As he lifted his head higher he saw the remains of something...something he couldn’t recall the name of but it too twisted something in his chest. 

He needed to get away. 

So he did just that, tripping over his own feet but forcing himself to move. There was no destination in his head as he followed a path that led nowhere he could recall. As the destruction of the land behind him faded the path became cleaner, more stable. 

As he turned his head he found a sign, Tommyinnit’s house. Oh. He knew Tommy! He did...but...but that’s all he recalled. The name was familiar but nothing more. He pressed his lips together in discomfort. Why was his brain not working? Why wasn’t it helping him remember? 

He continued to move, turning left on the path. It led him down. Down towards a mansion of some sort. It was white, obnoxiously white. As much as he tried, no names came to mind. He didn’t know whose this was either...he just didn’t know. 

To the left of the mansion was the ugliest building he had laid his eyes on. It was black and dark red, nothing seemed pleasant about it. It made something churn in his stomach, he almost felt sick looking at it.

He looked away, feet unmoving as he stood there between crossroads. Why couldn’t he remember where his home was…? Was someone waiting for him back home? Would someone be worried? 

The sun had long ago disappeared behind dark clouds. It seemed like the weather knew how he felt, clouds dark and filled with its own sorrow. It didn’t take for the rain to fall. It soaked through his clothes, the chill settling deep into his bones. He wrapped his arms around himself, standing there, almost feeling useless. This was no help for himself. The fabric of his hoodie simply stuck to his arms. It offered no comfort. No warmth. 

Instead it dug in the feeling of loneliness much deeper into him. Did he have someone to hug him like this? Was this someone’s job? To keep him warm and safe? To offer hugs when his own tears came to fall. 

The sky had no one...it simply wept and stopped as it pleased. When it had wept enough the clouds would disappear, replacing with darkness or the slight remains of sunlight. 

He found himself sitting down under a tree. It wasn’t much help, the rain went right through the leaves, soaking his hair further as large droplets fell. 

At that point he didn’t know if he was crying or not. The raindrops mixed with his own tears. No noise left him, only silent tears as he craved for this empty feeling inside of him to be filled. For the sun to come out for him as it would for the sky. 

“Karl?”

His head whipped up, eyes wide as he heard his name. Was he hearing things? He blinked a couple of times, trying to get the tears to go away and find the voice. 

“KARL! Holy shit!” 

There it was again and this time the man came into view, but all he felt was bitter loss as no name came to mind. Nothing. 

The man was attractive no doubt. Even in this rain. His long black hair plastered against his forehead, a soaked bandana which he guessed would have been useful to keep it back if not for the rain. He carried a small lantern in one hand, rushing towards him. 

Karl found himself getting onto his feet, almost as if on autopilot as he stood there waiting and waiting until the man finally came close enough. 

The man was breathing heavily, concern laced into his features. “Where did you go? You had us worried sick!” He asked in a rushed voice, the lantern landing on the ground without a care as cold hands reached up and cupped his cheeks. 

They were cold yet almost a whirlwind of warmth hit Karl’s body. Why did he feel like this? What was this? 

Karl could only stare back into the worry filled eyes. He didn’t even have an answer because he simply didn’t know where he had gone or why. How did he answer this man? 

“Karl…?” The man repeated, voice much softer as he stepped closer, unbearably close. Karl felt like his throat was filling with cotton, why was he reacting like this? Why did this man’s voice make warmth blossom in his chest? He had wanted this but he didn’t understand why. 

“I...Who are you…?” The words slipped from his trembling lips before he could think any longer. They were the only worlds spinning his head and it’s what he needed the answer for. Maybe it would help him...remember. 

But it may have been a mistake. 

It was like he had said the world's forbidden words. 

The man in front of him almost seemed to crumble. Concern melting into confusion, which melted into sadness. The hands on his cheeks began to tremble and Karl was almost sure it wasn’t because of the cold. 

“You...It’s me Karl. Sapnap, your...your fiancé!” The man continued to speak, his voice shaking. 

His fiancé? Karl blinked, the sick feeling returning. He had a fiancé and he couldn’t remember him. Why couldn’t he remember? This wasn’t fair. 

Karl’s lips trembled as he stared back at the man. No. Sapnap. He wasn't a random man now. He was Sapnap. His fiancé he couldn’t remember…

“Are you...Are you being serious?” Sapnap asked, not moving his hands from Karl’s face, almost afraid if he let go he would disappear completely. 

Slowly Karl nodded, even if it felt painful. He didn’t remember. He raised his own hands to put atop of Sapnap’s squeezing them gently, trying to gather the warmth he felt, trying to spread it. 

Sapnap sighed shakily, his thumb moving to gently wipe away an escaping tear. “I...okay. That’s okay. Let’s go home first okay? I think you could be sick. You’ve been out of it for days. You have to be more careful.” Gently the hand left his cheeks instead, Sapnap laced their hands together and picked up the fallen lantern. 

Karl let himself be pulled by Sapnap. Could this be the home he was aching for? Sapnap had felt right. He had felt so right, spreading warmth across his face and he felt tingles as they held hands. But something remained missing. 

It was a quiet walk through the rain, it had calmed a little. Not as cruel. Maybe the sky was feeling a bit more at ease now? Karl felt it. The weight around his heart was letting up. 

He stuck close to the man leading him, their shoulders brushing and small squeezes of the hand. Almost quiet reassurance of some sort. Sapnap reassuring himself Karl was there and Karl reassuring himself this wasn’t a hallucination like earlier with the room. 

They ventured far, the path he had taken disappearing from underneath their feet. They passed an abandoned barn, Karl almost thought he could hear laughing echoing against the walls. The remains of mushrooms lingering. 

Soon enough it came into view. A small village. A mushroom village. Once more the feeling filled him. The temporary feeling of happiness filling him as it had when Sapnap had appeared earlier to find him. 

It was a cozy village, filled with small mushroom homes. It wasn’t large but it felt homely. This was his home… He almost felt himself relax a little, less on edge as he stepped on the stone path weaving threw homes. 

They arrived at a home, a little more on the outskirts near a much larger building. But Karl didn’t have much time to admire it as Sapnap tugged on his hand gently and they entered the home. 

He took a deep breathe in, taking in the lovely home. It felt just like home… 

“Is this your house?” He felt himself ask. Sapnap immediately turned around with clear pain in his eyes. Somewhere in the house there was a door opening and rapid footsteps echoing. 

“It’s our house, Karl…” 

But he didn’t get a chance to respond as the footsteps came to a stop and there was another man standing in the doorway.

He seemed to have dark hair just like Sapnap, a blue beanie slung over it, hiding everything but the pieces that stuck out. There was a beauty mark on his cheek and concern laced into his eyes, just like Sapnap’s had been. 

“Karl! You can’t just disappear on us like that!” The man exclaimed, rushing over, Sapnap letting go of his hand and he was pulled into a hug. 

It almost felt like a shock as he was hugged, warmth filling him up at the mere contact. This...This was his home.

The hole in his chest slowly had filled itself. And there two men were responsible for it. 

The man pulled back, cupping his cheeks for a moment before his hands gently touched his arms and shoulder, before squeezing his hands. “George only asked you to get a few more mushrooms from the nether, not a whole year's worth” the man seemed to scold him. 

Mushrooms? George? Karl blinked, confused as he tried to wiggle out of the grip on his hands. “I...I um. I don't know who you are...or who George is…” he whispered, nerves falling into his voice. 

The man in front of him didn’t have the same reaction as Sapnap. Simply frowning before raising an eyebrow, “Again? I feel like this is too common of an occurrence. Did you hit your head?” The man accused. 

“Quackity…” Sapnap finally interrupted, Karl relaxing a little, glad he wasn’t being left to fend for himself. “He...He didn’t remember me either this time...He didn’t remember the house either...or that we’re all engaged.” 

They were all engaged? He had another fiancé? Two fiancé’s and he couldn’t remember either? 

Quackity looked from Sapnap to Karl. “You…” a nervous laugh left the man, “you don’t remember us…?” He asked, his voice too quiet, filled with nerves. 

Guilt swarmed in his stomach as he shook his head, his clothes continuing to stick his arms as he hugged himself. “No...I...I can't remember anything. It’s almost like a blur. Like I try to piece together things but, it’s so hard…”

Silence filled with the small home. Too much silence. Karl felt suffocated, the cold settling into him once again. 

Sapnap seemed to notice, offering him a small silence. “How about this. We’ll get you warmed up and we can tell you everything okay? Quackity can you make some hot chocolate and oh let George know we won’t have any mushrooms anytime soon.” 

Quackity simply nodded, glancing at Karl before nodding and leaving out the front door without another word. 

Even George remained unfamiliar. He took Sapnap’s offered hand, letting the man lead him once again. “Is George also our fiancé?” He dared to utter. 

Thankfully it got a small chuckle out of Sapnap, who simply shook his head, “No. It’s just you me and Q. George’s heart is in another man’s hands…” 

So no more fiancés. Well at least he had down who he was with. He was led through a small hallway, his eyes falling onto photographs and he stilled. “This...this is us?” He asked unsurely, scanning the photographs. 

Sapnap came to stand behind him, nodding slowly. “Yes. Do you want me to explain them?” He asked and Karl nodded immediately. He wanted to feel the familiarity. He needed to.

The first photo contained the three of them. There high above in the clouds. A place called El Rapids where they previously resided.

The next photo contained only him and Q, they were laughing at something, knees and shoulders pressed together. Sapnap explained he had taken the photo.

Next was Q and Sapnap. Sapnap was laid in a field and Q was sitting on top tucking flowers into Sapnap’s overgrown hair. It must be old, Sapnap’s hair seemed more tamed now. 

The next photo was all three of them again. This time somewhere he recognized. It was this very village, but much less occupied. It was a simple field filled with flowers, two houses on either side and in the middle the structure he had seen outside.

They passed a few photos of them, three or two of them, coming to a small collection of a bigger group.

He quietly explained who George was, thankfully it was easy to spot him as he wore interesting glasses. Next was someone named Bad and many others. But one man who remained unnamed was a masked man. Sapnap simply avoided speaking of him. But as his eyes landed on a photo of George’s hands tangled in blonde locks, he needed to know so he pointed. “Who is this?” 

Sapnap tensed beside him, the hand holding his, squeezing tightly, “that’s...that’s Dream. We..We don't speak about him, he’s done some not so good things. Now. We need to get you warm, c’mon.” Karl followed but not without the man with the mask photograph’s burned into his mind. 

He was led up some stairs. Another short hallway with only three doors. He was led into the last one, stepping into a bedroom. There was a familiarity to it as well, letting go of Sapnap and taking a look around. A dresser pushed against one wall, a wardrobe against another. A large window took up another wall and in the middle of the room was a bed. A large bed. This was his bedroom. More warmth blossomed in his chest, turning to see Sapnap smiling at him softly. 

After a hot shower, the ache in his head seemed to dull, warmth enveloping his own body now. Sapnap had allowed him to shower first so he was now sitting on this familiar bed. He had been given a warm hoodie then smelt of firewood and soft sweatpants to wear. It made him feel safe sitting there alone. 

There was noise downstairs. Quackity must have returned. Karl didn’t know why he hesitated. This was his home...he could move around. Surely. So he stood up, shuffling out of the room and down the stairs. 

He paused in the hallway once more, eyes lingering on the photograph of the five of them. It was Quackity and George the closest to the camera, Quackity shoving George to the side, the others glasses up atop his head for once, he himself stood behind them, seemingly laughing reaching for Quackity’s beanie. And off to the other side of the painting stood Dream and Sapnap. They looked happy. They sat in the field, looking at the other three in pure adoration. But Dream’s face was once again covered, nothing but blonde locks on display. Who was this man…? 

He was ripped away from his thoughts though as he saw movement from the corner of his eye. Quackity was standing there, “The hot coco is ready, ba-Karl…” he spoke unsurely and Karl felt the feeling return. 

So he offered a small smile, nodding, “Um...Sapnap’s showering…” he quietly mentioned, following Quackity into the kitchen.

They settled down on the table, Karl nursing the mug hot cocoa. The warmth and sugar was lovely. All he wanted to feel for the rest of his life was warmth. He didn’t want that cold feeling back ever again.

“You...You um mentioned that again when I said I couldn’t remember you. Has this happened before?” He had caught the word earlier, but he didn’t have the strength to ask about it. So he had suffered this before? Which meant he could get better. He would be able to remember! 

Quackity nodded slowly, shifting his chair, “Ya… it has happened before. Sometimes you’ll wonder off and come back looking confused. You would call us odd names and mistake us for people we weren’t. But you’d know this was our home and we were engaged. And you’d almost snap out of it the moment we confirmed it with you or touched you. It was just...it’s the oddest thing. It felt like we lost you but you’d bounce back up. It had been worse for the last couple weeks but we didn’t think...we didn’t think you wouldn’t remember us at all…” The man’s voice had fallen almost into a whisper, pain filling his voice. 

Karl hated it. He wished he could fix it. These two didn’t deserve this pain. The shit they went through because he couldn’t remember his dumb memories. “I’m sorry…” Karl whispered out, his own eyes filling with tears, “I’m sorry, I can’t remember…”

It wasn’t clear who moved first, but soon enough he was bundled up in a hug, tears soaking into Quackity’s shirt. They held each other tight, afraid of one or the other disappearing. This was home. He couldn’t lose it. Not again. 

Sapnap appeared soon after, the hot coco finished and the three of them had clambered into bed, Karl in the middle. They spoke in hushed whispers as if someone was listening. But it made him feel safe. Sapnap’s chest pressed against his back and Quackity’s hands laced with his own. 

“Don’t worry about the mushrooms, by the way. George understands…” Quackity mumbled, pressing a small kiss to his hand and Karl let out a watery laugh. 

They had talked on and on about little things. Whatever little thing Karl couldn’t remember. He learnt more about George and the village. Sapnap and Quackity spoke of themselves and Karl slowly realized why he had fallen in love with these two men. 

“What did Dream do…?” Karl dared to ask. The curiosity was eating him away. If past him knew, why couldn’t he know now too. 

The two men had fallen quiet. All he could hear was the soft breathing. 

“Please?”

He felt Sapnap sigh against his neck, the warm breath tickling his skin. “Q...you tell him please…” the man whispered, the hold on Karl’s waist tightening. 

Quackity simply hummed, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. 

“Dream...is in prison. He got locked up a few months ago for..for quite a few reasons. He burnt down the first structure in the lands. He wreaked havoc in many lives. He...He tried to kill a friend…” Quackity’s voice hitched a little, a shaky breath following. Sapnap’s grip on him was still tight. 

He felt guilty asking them to retell this story. It was obvious it caused pain but Karl needed to know. 

“Sapnap has known him much longer than me. They...They were...all best friends, along with George. It was the three of them against the world. They founded these lands. Made the community house...created an empire but Dream fell down the wrong path...many fell down it. Even I did...temporarily…” the voice falling into a whisper again as the past came crashing onto them all.

“I’m not proud of the decisions I made. But Dream stood by his, so now...now he’s in prison.” 

Karl understood now why it had been painful for Sapnap. He had to retell the tale of how he had lost his best friend. 

“George and Dream...were in love as well. Well I believe they still are. George doesn’t talk about it though, please don’t ask him...it’ll be too much. So just come to us when you have questions…” Quackity’s voice trembled again and Karl could tell there were tears. There were tears from Sapnap as well, the wetness against his neck, the shaky breathing. 

He had caused pain again. “I’m sorry…” he whispered in his own tremble. Karl pushed himself up into a sitting position, wiping away tears as he pulled Sapnap up with him and Quackity followed. He brought Sapnap into a hug first, wiping away his tears and hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry...I wish I remembered, I want to remember…” Karl choked out, Quackity’s hand in his hair gentle but reassuring.

He felt so miserable. So stuck. Why did he have to lose his memories? Why couldn’t he remember? Did he deserve this? 

They huddled close until their tears ran out. Sapnap tucked against him and Quackity’s head against his shoulder. 

Karl wanted nothing more than to protect these two. To protect George. All he could hope for was that he didn’t lose more memories. That he didn’t forget himself. 

But even if he did, Sapnap and Quackity were here, they’d pull him back. They’d keep him safe and he didn’t doubt that fact one bit. 

As the night grew older, Karl found himself tucked between two men who he cared so much love for. Who loved him back as much. This was home. 

He was home.


End file.
